Something unusual happened to me tonight. I received two phone calls back to back by a private number followed by an even stranger voicemail. To be clear, I NEVER answer private numbers or numbers I don't recognize. In the voicemail to follow, a woman left a message for a Natalie* (I go by Niccole on here and she got my name wrong on the voicemail that states my name) saying that she was a roommate of a man I play softball with (Bear in mind --- there is ZERO sexual connection between he and I) and she saw that my number showed up quite a bit on the phone bill. She proceeded to ask why was I sending him picture messages (It was an opinion on an outfit!) and if it was about softball no big, but if not could I call her back so we could discuss this. End of Message
I was so flabbergasted by this voicemail I had to listen to it 5 times before I understood the situation. Here I am thinking to myself - oh no, what did I do, I must have done something wrong, to be accosted like this - and I realized - I have done NOTHING wrong. This is a friend of mine, I have no desire to date (trust me, there are far more men that I am interested in than him) and I didn't realize that he was not 'allowed' to get texts. Honestly! Its as if he WAS involved, and yet, how has it become my issue?
I've been that woman, who has experienced her boyfriend cheating on her. I tried to approach it. But going on my reaction - Why bother. If a man is cheating on me....that really should be the end all, say all - and walk away. Clearly I did not have the grace to do that with MG but being on this end...granted it is the wrong interpreted end - completely disgusts me even more!
This 'experience' just makes it clearer to me that I need to eliminate men in just about every form of a relationship out of my life. I can't even handle a simple, misplaced accusation, because it still stems upon rejection.
I don't want other women to look at me as though I am some sort of Sexual predator.
I don't want men to see me as easy, someone who gets around the block, a booty call, someone always on the prowl.
I WANT to be seen as a classy sexy woman, who is independent within herself, who men AND women admire.
So no more fawning over men, no more desperate texting, hoping for a response.
I am independent, and stand with my chin held high, looking forward, undeterred by the men around me.
I am .... (what exactly?)
To be continued...
*Name changed
